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Joel Rifkin

Joel Rifkin

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I love television.

Seriously, there is almost always something on that I am willing to watch.

And I love everything on T.V.

From Antique's Roadshow to The Wire to MXC, if it's mildly entertaining, I'll tune in.

Really, if you produce a television show that I am unwilling to watch, you need to find a new career.

Here's a look at what's on the tube tonight and sadly, many of these show's producers aren't piquing my interest.6:00pm â€" Caddyshack, AMC: One of the funniest movies ever happens to be related to sports.

Lucky us! Of course, if you've never seen this movie, you might as well move to Laos, commie.6:00pm -- E! News Special: Michael & Farrah: Lost Icons: Like clockwork, E! has provided us with an inside look at the lives and deaths of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett.

How is the time divided? About three minutes dedicated to Charlie's Angels and 25 minutes devoted to the horrible things that went on in Jackson's life? Sounds about right.6:00pm -- 40 Hottest Hotties of the 90s, VH1: Take a look back and check out the best looking women from the 90s.

Sadly though, no mention of Janet Reno or Monica Lewinsky.7:00pm -- Seinfeld, TBS: The first of the daily double feature is "The Masseuse" and episode in which Jerry can't get his girlfriend, a Masseuse, won't give him a back rub and Elaine dates Joel Rifkin, but not the murderer, she thinks.7:00pm -- Dark Days in Monkey City, Animal Planet: Not really sure what this show is, but the title makes it sound like a place I never want to visit.

Get your paws off me you damn dirty ape!8:00pm -- America's Funniest Home Videos, ABC Family: Always good for multiple crotch shots, AFV is my wife's favorite show.

One of the things I like about this show is watching to old videos.

Nothing like seeing how a family of nerds lived in the 80s.8:00pm -- The Superstars, ABC: Last week's premiere episode saw Terrell Owens take a tongue lashing from model Joanna Krupa.

My guess is that episode had the best action we'll see all season.8:00pm -- America's Got Talent, NBC: America may have talent, but you're sure to see a boatload of people without any talent on the second audition show of the season.9:00pm -- World's Scariest Police Chases, Spike: One of my favorite things to watch on television is a good police chase.10:00pm -- Kendra, E!: I can only imagine how awful this show is.

Interested in seeing how NFL receiver Hank Baskett and his gold digging girlfriend live? Watch this show and then rinse your eyes out with bleach.Are you a twit? Then follow me on twitter:
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